What not to put in your press release, or how to end up on my baka wall

OK, PR people (and people who are being strong-armed into being a PR person because your organization is woefully underfunded,) listen up.
The next PR person who sends me a press release that unironically begins with “It’s that time of year again!” will end up on my brand-new Baka wall.
(Baka is Japanese for ‘idiot’ and it’s highly satisfying to spit it out when you’re annoyed. Go ahead, try it!)
The Baka wall used to be a wall in one of my former newsrooms where we would post the most egregious press release whoopsies.
So, this is part two of my series: How to make the media pay attention to you.
Last time I said press releases are still the best way to get attention. However, there are ways to increase the chances of your press release being covered as a news story.
First, keep it brief. I explained this last time, but it’s imperative to repeat it. Remember the three-second rule.
Second, include a photo, or a link to a photo, if possible. The photo should be high-resolution, in focus, and if at all possible, candid rather than people standing around or holding something. (Unless they are holding something cool, like 25 live cobras, or balancing a motorbike on their tongue. That works.)
I cannot emphasize enough how much a great photo increases your chances of being covered. Newsrooms are being gutted, and the first to go are the photographers.
Third: Clear, easy information on how to get a hold of a spokesperson.
If you prefer to end up on my Baka wall, then do the following:
- Send me a press release that begins with a horrifying cliche.
- Send out a release with contact info for the spokespeople, then tell me the spokesperson won’t be available for a few days because they’re on vacation. (Yes, this has happened to me.)
- Send a release with a headline full of corporate speak. If your headline includes the words innovation, synergy, or strategic asset, I will set my laptop on fire, run it over with my car, and then pin the resulting mess to the Baka wall.
- I can forgive a spelling mistake or typo (heck, I had one in Monday’s newsletter, whoops.) I cannot forgive 15 spelling mistakes or atrocious grammar. Baka!
- Start with 200 words about what makes your organization great. No one cares. Tell me why that person who doesn’t care, should. (This is called burying the lede.)
I have one more thing to say about press releases… but I will save it for the next column.