I know how to brew up new friendships, you algorithmic boor!

About nine months ago, I decided it was time to show up. In person.

Like most of us, I emerged from the pandemic with my relationships rather battered. The first summer of non-distancing freedom had my band playing every weekend instead of monthly as people decided to celebrate with live music, Manitoba socials and parties at their campsites and barns. It was a lot of fun, but it wasn’t the personal connection I was really craving.

But it wasn’t easy. My best friend and I text, but we were awful about getting together in person. Between work and family pressures, it was difficult.

Last summer, an ad came across my algorithm that purported to help women make new local friends.

I was insulted. I know how to make friends, you digital jerks!

… Yeah, I clicked on it.

It was basically a group date for female friends, led by a counsellor who was good at asking people probing questions to force you to open up a little more than you might otherwise. It promised that you would have a new bestie if you completed the series of dates.

The first date was cheap. The rest was not.

I went to the first date and met about 10 other women, most of whom also decided that paying for the rest of the course was too expensive. So we formed a group chat and organized some of our own dates, thank you very much. We got this!

Narrator voice: “They did not.”

After a few events, women started to ghost.

By Valentine’s Day, one other woman and I had splintered off into our own chat. Our ADHD brains got along. She made me laugh, shared some of the same struggles, and did some mean karaoke.

A few weeks later, I was sitting at The Park Theatre, watching her dance group do a routine at a burlesque show. While she waited for her turn on stage, she texted me to see if her rather uptight 70-something father, who had never seen a burlesque show and was sitting beside me, had run away yet.

Chuckling, I told her he was here to stay and enjoying himself. So was I.

We are currently doing a pottery class together (last week I made a lopsided mug to go with my lopsided bowl, proudly pictured above), and I think we will keep on making an effort.

In the meantime, my best friend and I have actually seen each other several times, too. In person.

I’m happier than I’ve been in a while. So this summer, I encourage you all to try to reach out and show up.